GoodBye 2012

Surrender to What Is

Surrender to What Is

2012 could be labeled as my own “annus horribilis,” if i didn’t see the bigger picture. My yoga teaching, dwindled from a pretty decent 13 classes in 2012 to only 3 at the start of 2013. Four of the six places i was on the roster at closed over the course of a year and one just didn’t have enough people to support a yoga class.

All i wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and mourn. I was going to miss the people and community i had helped create over the last five years at these fitness centers. How was i going to pay my bills? What was i going to do? The main question in my head was, “am i supposed to be a yoga teacher anymore?”

When the last place closed a few weeks ago, it broke my heart. It was a place that felt like home to so many. It was a point when i really questioned if i was suppose to give up and find something more stable. When i heard the news,i promised myself that i would mourn for a day, then i would make a list the next day, and that friday would go into action. The universe had other plans for me and i surrendered to them.

I didn’t have time to mourn. My phone rung, my email and facebook messages blew up with friends/tribe members offering leads to continue both my yoga teaching and my massage business. I started to think more out of the box with creating opportunity with some of the offers i was receiving.

My yoga peeps believed in me. My inbox was flooded with questions asking me where they can take my classes because they missed them. I was offered a chance to sub at a yoga studio, and an audition at another yoga studio, both due to people talking about my classes to the owners without me knowing.

Ultimately, i started to believe in myself and my teaching. i started to believe in just surrendering to the path the universe has sent me on. My schedule right now is scattered with a few subbing jobs in addition to my regular schedule at one of the gyms that remained open. All i can do is have faith and see where i am lead.

I could label 2012 as my “annus horribilis,” but i won’t. It was a year that pushed me out of my comfort zone, a year that helped me fall back in love with teaching yoga, and a year that reminded me life is about experiences.

I have a strong feeling that this upcoming year will really be filled with amazing adventures.

…bring it.

Thanks Givings

 

 

“Gratitude is the heart’s memory.”

~ French Proverbs

 

I am thankful and grateful for:
1. learning from the amazing people that walk into my life everyday
2. the smiles of the preschoolers who play yoga with me.
3. being able to wake up every morning and do something i enjoy.
4. finding new ways to fall in love with the day.
5. my family who supports me in what i do.
6. to watch the sunrise and sunset
7. to be inspired by the people i meet.
8. finding the quiet moments and knowing how to appreciate them.
9. having teachers who are excited about sharing their knowledge.
10. starry nights.
11. finding another creative outlet.
12. an understanding landlord.
13. not letting the small stuff get to me 75% of the time.
14. to see the beauty in most ordinary
15. the love and appreciation i feel from clients and students
16. being able to groove to the music
17. friends who are willing to help and up for new adventures
18. my passion
19. friend who nudge me back on the path when i lose my way.
20. the mistakes i’ve learned from.
21. my nephew reminding me to play
22. the universe opening up the doors for me.
23. not allowing fear to rule my life
24. the lessons i’ve learned from dogs
25. being able to put smiles on people.
26. love.

what are you thankful for?

Learning…


 

Things I’ve learned since picking up the camera:

1. It’s like yoga. I’m being in the moment. I try to capture it, but only to move on to the next. I’ve  been finding a meditative and relaxing factor to taking pictures.

2. It pushes me past boundaries I had put on myself. I don’t think I would have gone to the zoo in the fall, search for places to explore through the camera’s eye, or take myself on day road trips. At this moment, I’m enjoying the expeditions and looking forward to finding new places.

3. Helping me find myself again….my strengths, my weakness, my laughter, and sense for adventures.

4. Reminded me that certain people do come into your life when you need them the most. I found an old high school mate on Facebook , during  the same time I was trying to figure out my new go to place for replenishing my soul. She got into photography along the years and seeing her work was inspiring. Meeting her again made me smile and left me in awe. I was reminded of how much I did enjoy photography. She was the catalyst to push me into picking up the hobby again. Thank you Korri!

5. To let go. Sometimes I can’t control what comes out because I am relearning how to take pictures again. I take a lot of pictures and maybe only have a small handful that is decent. Practice. Practice. Practice. I just don’t stress about not being perfect, because what happens happens and I learn from it. On my first time out with my brother’s camera, the pictures were over exposed. I ended up making it work.

6. No matter how busy I am, I put time aside for me. I have one day a week I can play without guilt. If I get in more, that is bonus. If I don’t take the time out, I can’t be at my best for my clients and students (and that is where I felt I was going…not giving my best). Feeding my soul, enjoying the a little me time, all ends up in making me a better person.

At some point, I had forgotten this side of me. It can be easy to forget who you are and what you like when you put everything else ahead of you – the kids, the grocery list, the deadlines or meetings. These last few weeks with the camera in hand have made me realize slow down and smile deep.